Homesick

Yeah... since I came back from my journeys I have felt more homesick than ever. For various reasons. I am tired of the constant hot weather here, and all the crammed spaces. I HATE traveling by local train here, and I avoid the buses as much as I can. The traffic here in it's various forms here gives me anxieties.
I'm also homesick because I feel that I am in less control of things and issues that has to do with my life back home. Things that has to do with my future.
I'm homesick because I miss all the things from home, that I don't have here. ..and it gets pretty darn lonely here.

But still I'm not ready to go home. I want to finish up the things that I came here for ..and actually enjoy the time I have here and take advantage of it. I have grown a lot since I got here ..and I feel that I will come home as the improved and updated version of Janne.

There are things that I truly enjoy here. I enjoy doing follow visits to families that have adopted children, and see how the children are doing. I enjoy doing my weekly visits to "my" two little children that are in foster care and do their progress reports. I enjoy most of the visits to the slum communities and dealing with the wonderful people there, even if I sometimes just tag along as an observer. I enjoy the few calm moments at my room at the hostel or at some restaurant or cafe. ..and I do still really like the people at work, TISS, and at Church. They have made the whole experience so much easier.

I love the growth and the learning I get here, and the thought provoking experiences. I might not have gotten all the answers.. and I might still feel helpless about some of the problems around me .. and realized how complex things really are ... I understand that the solution to the problems here isn't to be found in easy and naive answers ...but I have gotten more direction .. and and an even stronger urge to do something at least.

Oh by the way, on a more shallow note ... I have lost about 9 kilos so far since I came to India. I hope to lose even more. I'm doing a lot more walking... plus I have lost a lot of my appetite for the food here, and food in general, so I'm not eating as much anymore.